I thought this over, and discussed this with my soul, and yes my soul wants this admission very badly again. I am a female that likes watching. EVERYTHING, and I get enjoyment from it.
People exploit voyeurs and do not understand voyeurism.
The exploitation of this, and the fact that I need to exhibit to attract those that love being watched can get to a woman because of society.
This is my exhibit, and yes I exhibit sexually, I know I’m Polyamorous, and that gets damned fast. I know I am bi-sexual that gets damned fast (people assume I’m a whore and swinger) and I know I have yet to go down on a woman, due to society, I know that truth but isn’t the truth, others do and are not damned to be a whore right.
So I am damned to be a pervert and misunderstood. And yes you see online people exhibiting but you are supposed to call them whores right? That is only me right?
I also get some of the ugliest, I have a girlfriend, I am just like you sometimes throughout my life, when I am like, I know you are not like me, I know I am an active VOYEUR and I know what I love to watch for my pleasure and it ain’t you.
I have loved watching Mr. Cavill, Mr. Kutcher, Mr. Timberlake, Mr. Ford, Mr. Cruise, Mr. Pitt…
It is hard because I am not like the people I watch, but I am. I love their hard muscular bodies, while me I’m cursed with slovenly fat. At my worst I was 286, and it wasn’t nice, I showed the father of my children the worst of the obesity and he didn’t help me one bit, and he was an athlete voyeur not polyamorous. Which is truth. A fat non-meal counter was with an athlete for birthing children that are amazing people, and were the reality of why I want Thorn in every place I can put it, since my children were at school and the boy and girls club when adults attacked them. Thorn is a tool to stop sexual abuse of children founded by Ashton Kutcher and those that care to stop people from sending children to the hospital.
I started being a voyeur at the age of 10 for certain and I know my parents would be damned for ordering the BDSM fetish catalogs that started what I do. I know I went to the movie theater weekly seeking out my voyeurism. I used to have HBO for some of my voyeurism. I now have Netflix and Vudu and it feeds the need to watch nicely. And I know a rated G isn’t voyeurism right? I think not, because voyeurism is watching something to gain pleasure. And I am not stopping that, so I call myself a pervert once in a while to be same as others, when I know I am not the same and I don’t think I really am one, a pervert.
SO this is who I am, and it gets me in trouble. I am exhibiting the same as those I watch, including sexually. Is it wrong? I don’t think so, but it can harm those that I watch because they might not understand what pleasure I do get is personal and highly selfish.
I am a female voyeur, I am not sneaking, I know what I want to watch and seek that out you do not have to make me watch what you like but that happens to voyeurs, voyeurs are exploited because some exhibitionist doesn’t understand what I actually do and assumes I want to see that particular person when I never seek that person out… etc. Add what you think and I can say yes you are right or no you never met a real voyeur.
I seek Henry Cavill out as someone I do watch, not understanding something about my voyeurism, I just liked the stories he was in, I love how he looks and might have new with the Witcher. I know I am in a dangerous thing for my voyeurism as of yesterday. Not certain how to navigate that, I normally just go off on my own and enjoy that being on my own thing.
If I tell someone I am a fan but I am not a fan, it means I might want some privacy about what I do, to not have embarrassing moments of, or even this embarrassing article to eat at me and I go okay I’ll get this out. I am a fan, of many people. My voyeurism might get me in trouble… well it has in the past.
This didn’t write right. I know I am trying to explain a complicated thing, my voyeurism is personal and complex. And I want nobody harmed including me.