Tag: spread

It is Taboo to Communicate Well

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I do not know how Culture Club with Boy George is Taboo, this is the beginning of a series of article on taboo conversations. That the way we speak to each other can be taboo. And it isn’t just on taboo topic matters.

I was looking for a picture for this taboo article, one was a TV show named Taboo, sick painting of naked adults, one a naked woman masturbating and then I ran into Boy George, and went how is he Taboo. I grew up singing loudly and badly to one culture club hit song, Chameleon.

He’s not taboo. He’s not a taboo topic to speak of, and yes he is a gay man. So a man being gay on a google search is the search word in images Taboo, is taboo. Boy George is the image of Taboo. See I’m in shock.

So is it a taboo topic to speak on this, well if you do not know how do you know how society feels about somebody. I know the search is because of a title to an article. So indexing, yes the indexing was because of a original Broadway show Taboo 2003. I really never heard of that, so did I self abuse? By thinking this is terrible a favorite singer is taboo? Might be… guess what that is a taboo topic.

It was silly of me to think Boy George Taboo how terrible, the Taboo show isn’t Taboo. Was it abusive of the audience to call the show Taboo, yes I know lovable Boy George. The Cycle of violence needs to be applied to what I just did… Honey moon I love Boy George… Build up this cannot be true…. explosion I’m writing about it. Okay see the cycle of violence isn’t so bad right? It happens right?

It is taboo speaking on the cycle of violence, but not taboo to talk about the cycle of water, the sun evaporates, the evaporated water rises forming rain clouds, and then the rain happens to fall from there, and it starts all over again.

I apologize to Boy George because I do not want him abused, I never heard of Taboo the Broadway show.

I do want to continue writing about Taboo topics, and I have one taboo topic is Thorn a tool to stop sexual abuse on children founded by Ashton Kutcher, hardly anybody showed up at the committee meeting when Ashton Kutcher was testifying. There was an audience behind him that saw one to two committee members and no others.  The committee is bigger than four people right?

 

Cycle of Violence: This has to be known and understood

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The cycle of violence if unknown, happens, if known happens. It is why we have a court system and full penitentiaries. A huge national budget for all of it. I think with more people aware of the abuses that can happen and do, we can lighten the court systems load on misdemeanors and get those repetitive felons.

Why I hammer home and sound like a broken record, oh six more years of broken record by the way, because this will not stop, it just started, and even I need to be reminded daily about the cycle of violence.

That awareness might prevent a woman from being raped and murdered when you know the signs she is at risk of being in the cycle of violence with her boyfriend. It also can prevent verbal sexual violence on men and prevent men’s murders.

The cycle of violence is the honeymoon, hey you got flowers, the build up, you did what okay let that go you did what let that go you did what… boom explosions happens right? Then the cycle happens again more flowers? I write about the abuses on men and barely have started to touch on the abuses of women. Both sexes have different abuses they go through, men I think, no proof but observation, it is more verbal abuses that can be sexual that they suffer, women it is more physical, psychological and sexual abuses. Why the difference? Physical differences cause the different forms of abuses on each of the genders.

And because of the physical differences we are not seeing what is happening verbally sexually to men daily. Again the chronic condition of society is blaring. I cannot solve this yet, without taking a man down, which is the last thing I want to do.

What does it mean taking him down? It means stripping him naked and showing him where women attack. Yes his gentiles, and sometimes he isn’t attack for sexual reproduction but he’s attack for status, power, money, and there are other excuses. Again the VERBAL SEXUAL ABUSE is verbal, a simple put down of him, and he’s abused, so why would he want to support women, let alone men who support women, when he is the abuse victim.

The cycle of violence starts at home. And then ends up at the ballot booth. The candidates male and female might not know, that a man might be voting based on how he’s treated by women in this society, but this woman has seen this. 1920 MEN GAVE WOMEN THE VOTE. How does that feel reading that again?

 

Verbal sexual abuse endured

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Men endure this daily verbal sexual abuse and this is something on my mind this morning. Verbal sexual abuse that I cannot remove from society.

I do not want to attack the successful business owner, I need jobs. Like everybody else, and I am a bit of a female wage slave myself. I am not a successful business owner, that happened to me, others might not have the same non-success rate. But I am like the 70 year old Babyboomer who worked for Wal-Mart all his life and might get a good pension. And a woman married that man too, like a woman would marry a business owner CEO.

You see the verbal sexual abuse just written down? Don’t you. NO you would not see the emasculation of the man who worked for Wal-mart all his life.

The verbal sexual violence is more on the male Wal-mart employee, than it is on the CEO. But the CEO uses the verbal sexual abuse to build himself up trying to overcome something not able to be over come because this is our society’s language and expectations of men. Yes I do not have an example of a CEO being verbally sexually abused but I will find one… it does exist.

Men are victims of this chronic abuse.

How to say a boys dream come true is to be a life long Wal-mart employee? Okay some men might have that grand dream, and maybe the woman’s dream come true is to marry employee of the month at Wal-mart? Right, with our media going you marry the person who is the art director of GQ. But even the Art Director at GQ magazines masculinity is attacked by assuming his sexual orientation as homo-sexual when he might not be. And that is an abuse we do on men all the time.

People do not assume I am a lesbian all the time, heck I have to come out once in a while and say, “Dad, I’m a lesbian.” Nobody really assumes a woman’s sexuality but they are delighted when they find a woman swings both ways. Maybe that is just media, right.

Men can cut a man down based on assumed ideas all the time on other men. I’ve seen this in the media, and maybe the media has to stop that. Okay, how do you stop emasculating men, when stopping emasculates man? I am running into that thought all the time.

I’m thinking more articles with examples of this chronic abuse will happen on Wise Women and Beyond, so far no solutions but the first examples are written. This will lead to men working more with women on trying for a more peaceful society. NOT a society of fluffy bunny fighters though… a society of strong minded men and women.

 

Recognizing Abusive Communication can lead to finding Male victims Of sexual verbal and written abuse

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I write sex stuff all the time, this started at 15 years old after I read my first romantic novel and got hooked. Was there abusive sex language in that novel? Yes. I know bodice ripper is what I was reading according to some people, I called it romantic novel. But the language, yes I read my first soft porn novel at age 14, there will a parent let a child read what I just wrote I hope not.

This is politics, and politics can only go as far as good non-abusive communication can take it. So if a human woman is taught sexually abusive language toward men from a young age, how do we stop the male victim creation.

The creation of the tough, he shows passion by being angry male stereo type, firmly in the heads of many women planted there by women, is abusive to men. And then my inner bugs speaks up, a man I respect, remember I’m gender Female Woman girl, “What if I want to do that, bodice ripper thing?”

The thoughts are to stop verbal sexual abuse of the Male Man boy, and I am failing miserably. I have these stereo types of men in my head, and I am trying to admit those can be generalizations and abuses of men. This is entrenched in novels that women have purchased in the billions, including me for their sexual enjoyment.

Is anger a good thing to draw upon when you are sexual? I don’t think so.

A sexual assault is about power and control. It has nothing to do with sex, or sexual satisfaction of both people.  The person who does the sexual assault wants power and control over another person.

BDSM is about consent and having consensual talked about sex with a partner, and this can lead to good communication with loads of people outside the bedroom. BDSM does have the power for the submissive because it was spoken about and the couple wanted or group wanted a safe word during sexual intercourse or sex play.

So in recognizing that there is entrenched sexual verbal and written abuse that a man endures, how do I find these victims and then find coping mechanisms for them. So far men have acted out a bit… see there is the female abuser… were men actually acting out as being abusive by not listening to women still wanting the vote??? Of course they are not acting out right? But “acting out” is an abuse term you acted out making me… instantly telling women that men are still the aggressor against helping us get the vote for the first woman president or more women in business.

This is going to be difficult, and this was inspired by Thorn, again a tool to help children get away from sexual abusers. Well, I am happy what happened this weekend lead to this. More to come…

We are Human

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Waking this morning was fun, because I wanted to write about natural consequences and then thought about polyamory. Yes, polyamory, which is a loving closed relationship, for adults in the end it raises healthy loving children.

We are going into talk divorce and monogamous communication, I don’t want to talk about monogamous communication, some people find that sensitive like I do. But you cannot get around the FAILURE in monogamous communication that leads to divorces.

This sensitivity to monogamous communication might be my BDSM. Bondage Dominance Sadomasochism is a form of monogamous communication and sexual communication. And it is my preference, but I am a failure at communication in monogamy, so I should talk. Right?

We are human, and monogamous communication is our advertising and media and movie industry and television industry and everyday life. This is pushed on people with out BDSM because BDSM is thought of as a perversion. Yes, safe words that a submissive demands is a perversion. And I need to demand safe words in my life, not just in the bedroom. I think all of us do.

Submissive person is a person who needs safe words, so they have control over a situation.

Dominate person is a person who is the best communicator with listening comprehension.

When a submissive gives the safe word, at any moment during whatever is going on, the dominate hears and stops whatever is happening at that moment to listen. People think that being a submissive is being a slave, that is not truth, that is FETISH SHIT. A submissive is in control of their environment, the dominant is not. The dominant is not a slave to the submissive, again fetish stuff comes to mind.

That is monogamous communication in a controlled sexual manor, but it is found more in polyamory than in monogamy’s because of the judgment that BDSM is a perversion. Some people think, and I am guessing, that BDSM is thought of as an abusive relationship. It is not. It is communicative.

Monogamy can be abusive relationships. That leads to some divorces. And it is in the communication where the abuse lies. If monogamies were the best communicative relationships, why do we need places like Thorn to catch child sexual abusers? Thorn was founded by the action star Ashton Kutcher, not certain how mentioning the founder helps law enforcement see that Thorn is a tool to help them, and I am going after the electorate to form good non-abusive communication to help stop all abuses, but admitting I am human about that as well.

With 40 To 50 percent of marriages failing, there creates at risk children. Here is where Polyamory might stop at risk children, and open up better communication for adults. Monogamy has an issue, the divorce happens, then remarriage maybe of both people, the child from the first now has two step-parents. Those step-parents know the birth parents both of them, well that is the beginning of polyamory. I know the first marriage failed due to bad sexual communication, but the new marriages work, what if just admitting the couple is polyamorous before the divorce happens?

The couple sits down explaining to one another something is missing, well guess what was missing the new marriage person, that individual is loved by one of the members in the original couple. It doesn’t mean those people are in an open swinging relationship, it was just that someone was missing another adult. NOT another child, but the possibility of one is still there.

When  you know, and it took me time to get to this place, another adult is needed in your relationship, it is rough. I had this issue, and it was something I did bring up in my own marriage, my ex-husband was not receptive to my communication. That is why I should speak, my ex-husband did have an affair, I liked the woman a Peruvian woman he had the affair with I even made her soup when she was sick but… society did get in the way of this and I know that. It did start the end of my marriage, and I did get him into “marriage counseling”. Yes, I was an acquaintance of the woman my ex-husband had a relationship with.

I do not know her any longer and when the affair happened, I was confused going he’s excited about another woman, how do I handle this, and I handled it poorly. But I did not handle it poorly, I treated her with dignity, not really calling her or my ex-husband names, or doing anything stupidly jealous, and that is why I know I might be polyamorous. When I was told and shown pictures of the affair, I just asked, “what do you expect me to do?”

My ex-husband and I as I wrote have communication problems that are not solvable. I know this, so I should not really speak on that any longer, I am in a different place than he is.

A polyamorous person invites the woman into her home and makes soup when the woman is ill.

Society would state that I am a pervert, just by mention good communication skills. BDSM is good communication skills, and polyamorous is the same. But mentioning good communication and something that might help children becomes taboo.

In a polyamory that I was introduced too after the affair, the men take turns caring for the children, no nanny required because that is their family. There are more adults around, not hired help, that care for the children in that polyamory, and I am interested in that kind of communication in the future.

To get to a point where voters are communicating better, with candidates, we have to look at all forms of family and communication. I am walking down a road least traveled, I hope to find men and women open to comprehending where I am coming from and then they lead with their votes to people that want abuses stopped and offenders incarcerated.

Dirt in the eye balls

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Two children in a sandbox, one is a girl the other a little boy, both mothers off talking to each other having a fun time like the children. The little girl starts crying and the little boy tries to make nice, both moms look up and come over rapidly. Both moms grab the children gently and one is about to get scolded, which one do you think.

I love little boys, they are nice sweet and sometimes you do have to scold for violence. I love little girls, they are nice sweet and sometimes you do have to scold for violence. Yes, both but here is the above story, which got scolded, the little boy, while the little girl gets her eyes washed out.

That is the current women’s politics. Yes once again we have 19.4% women in politics at the centralized government level of the USA. I feel like the women have dirt in the eyeballs, and not seeing what is happening with the men. We preach the statistics but are not seeing the possibility that dirt is in our eyes, and no mommy’s to wash out the dirt.

I don’t know if the dirt in the eyes is an accident. It might be, the little boy might claim it is, that he moved and the dirt flew directly into the eyes of the little girl. 1920 is a gift to women, because no women could run for office at the time. No women held a governors office in any of the states. No woman was able to do much but hold a protest and get arrested for not following the law.

I am going into verbal sexual abuse that I am seeing, maybe I can wash the dirt from my own eyes. As a parent that is what we do anyway, wash the dirt out ourselves or go to the doctor, a little girl cannot wash the dirt from her own eyes. Neither can a little boy.

As an adult I might not like being called a girl, but I call myself that sometimes, like men might call themselves boy. As someone that might call herself a girl, I am seeing that men are verbally sexually abused, was this how women got the vote. After 80 years of protesting, if abuse was the end result to get the vote from the men that would mean the men gave us a toy and then threw the dirt in the eyes. Where was the toy in the upper scenario? It was not there, and the moms did not see it.

Maybe men think voting and law is just toys to play with for women, instead of tools. They gave in, you have it, see women you have candidates, what more do you want!!! I see that, I am hearing that on the media outlets even from women. That means he’s been abused. The man who voted for me to have the vote is being abused verbally in a sexual manner in his mind.

Men, in their minds, are being mentally sexually abused.

What more do you want? Screamed in the Hillary Clinton campaign for presidency. Screamed at Sarah Palin when she ran for Vice President, what more do you want? Men and women who love their sons and fathers and husbands screaming…

Okay, I know where to go, cycle of violence and time outs. How long of a time out is needed before healthy non-abusive debate begins…and voting is not thought of as a toy for women by men.

Men, in this country and around the world have been verbally sexually abused by their women, and some by men, to get them to what give women the vote??? Abused to a point where communication has been broken down to failure.

Voyeurism: The media movie industry drives these exploited people

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I am apart of an exploited group of people, and as I’ve written, I am a female voyeur. That means I get pleasure watching people have sex, but that isn’t the only pleasure voyeurs can have. Being a voyeur is not completely sexual.

Watching the evening weather woman, I am so getting pleasure from updrafts of wind pressure readings and temperatures, but that is a form of voyeurism. I get pleasure still and I am a born in the 197-‘s baby. Yes, I can get pleasure from watching The Little Mermaid still, Walt Disney’s animated version. Voyeurism is not fetishism, yes you can watch a person acting out their fetish and get pleasure from that, but you are not doing that fetish nor are you, well maybe sometimes, wanting to have that fetish to be your own.

I did not get any pleasure from watching the hearing Thorn was in, a tool created by Ashton Kutcher to stop sexual abuse permanently, but that is my work. A voyeur could be working on a case and wanting to stop the sex offender, a police office, the voyeur is not the sexual offender, nor is the voyeur encouraging the behavior, actually the opposite the police officer is wishing the behavior away, hoping the person doing the sexual violence starts following gods rules. (which means children were not created for sexual intercourse.)

I have wished sexual abuse away permanently, I hope others do too with me.

The police officer is still acting out non-pleasurable voyeurism. Which is appropriate to catch something the should not be happening in the first place.

I want people to follow the RULES of being voyeurs, and the industry of media and movies needs to keep putting those rules into what they do… and I think they do. Why this is a celebration article, it is okay to admit to what men do, being a voyeur. And by following the already not spoken rules, I feel safe as a woman to admit, I like the Little Mermaid in my 40’s.

Sometimes we all need, men and women to celebrate the non-abusive rules of society. Those that have NEVER REALLY put men down, and acknowledge, “Yea men look.” Why women cannot look, who knows. I just feel safe, that might be because of men, to admit, I’m like you, I look too.

I am not doing what a man might think though, because I am not jumping up and going with somebody saying, “I’m going to disrespect you and force you to do something you don’t want to do at that moment, and maybe never.” Sometimes people have done this to self admitted female voyeurs. It has happened to me about sex, and it isn’t nice. I am watching, I might not be into doing.

The movie industry gets  loads of my money, exploiting my need for pleasure by watching. So does the media. So does the internet. We are a world of voyeurs, and men will admit it. I am a woman leading this, women are like men, we watch too. Celebrate it!!!

 

Voyeurism: Non-abusive communication is about awareness

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I am not perfect with non-abusive communication, and I think no one can be. But a person can be aware of it. I want to write more about women that enjoy voyeurism, and yes male strippers are known, and written about, but the voyeurism of it might not be. So off with opinion and little facts maybe some truth.

Male strippers are not the only forms of voyeurism that women enjoy, and why not just write about me as a known admitted woman into voyeurism.

I am a voyeur.

First there is the female voyeurism of dance, hence the male strippers, but what about the ballet or dancers in a Katie Perry show. Yes, there is no admitted actual sex involved but there are movements that symbolize sexual acts.

Second the voyeurism of a romantic movie. Yes, stupid sound tracks to tell you when to feel sexual toward the players, and these can be rated g movies, still voyeurism.

Third the voyeurism when public displays of affection are happening, this can get a little uncomfortable for myself, and others, but it is a form of voyeurism.

Fourth ANY MOVIE can turn on a voyeur.

Fifth a political speech can be seen as a voyeurism, you are there watching and smiling about a political topic. This is stimulation for some.

I’ll look for more areas I enjoy voyeurism later… like those wine glasses pictured above could be apart of my voyeurism.

FEMALE Voyeurs might not masturbate, men don’t. So why do women assume to be a voyeur you are lurking with your hands in your pants about men, yes there is an assumption there. MEN DO NOT DO THIS, and they engage in the act of VOYEURISM all the time, some not most.

I am guessing that the assumed hand in your pants voyeurism is about CRIMINAL PEEPING TOM STUFF. Sexual abuse.

This I think is good communication, it opens up a world of same person for women and men. BOTH ARE VOYEURS. BOTH SEXES look, getting pleasure from looking and as long as there is no public masturbations or if you know the rules of your home private/public masturbations meaning masturbations at inappropriate home times in a public space. I know everybody knows their home rules right???

I want to emphasis voyeurism is okay, and men do not masturbate or act on thoughts. Women are the same people. I look at women, my preferred. I do look at men. I am a voyeur and I get pleasure from activities that I can be myself. I love going to the movies, I am not sitting there rubbing my self, tits or vaginal area, if I am at a concert and watching dancers, I have seen this on youtube, nobody is acting out sexually, but the dancers on stage. But that is voyeurism.

Non-abusive communication is the goal, and cycle of violence ending is a goal. Men know the rules they set up, and everybody obeys or the police get involved. I like that. Women obey the same rules. This should be a start to get men to vote for women right?

 

 

Loving Consent

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I fell in love with a polyamorous woman. That does not mean I am a lesbian but it does. I  know that sentence means I want to talk about communication about sex, and I  know there is no secret word from my readers to tell me stop. Remember I am into BDSM and safe words because I am not into sexual abuses.

It was not hard telling her I could not come into her family, where she had two men with her at the time. I lived a few states away. I just wasn’t ready. And I was living far from her at the time. She lives closer to me now, I haven’t seen her in decades, but that is closed. I maybe polyamorous too.

I am not going to seek her out, and hers was a deep loving writing friendship, her love for me was in her writing and I saw that. She was there during my divorce when I needed her the most, and when I found out about polyamorous relationships it was from her.

Yes, she was my first polyamorous love. But I am the one that cannot commit. Just me, I am not into commitments. I am into my self-denial and celibacy, which is my Masochism. I was not practicing my masochism when I told the wonderful polyamorist lady that I could not join her closed family. I was being honest and I had hoped communicated well.

Masochism is when a person takes pleasure in self denial. I am not certain about humiliation, it is added into masochisms definition, I do not think I am a person that gets pleasure from being humiliated. But who knows maybe that is a truth I am not ready to face yet.

Example of a masochist, a comedian, Jimmy Fallon.

I want to make certain everybody knows a polyamory is NOT AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP WHERE EVERYBODY JOINS. It is a closed private relationship like monogamy.

Is it sexually abusive writing about sexual preferences? I don’t think so. But since this is about how people communicate. Masochism isn’t self abuse, people might think it is, but most are very cool with who I am in public. Privately if they have issues, I hope they keep their opinions to themselves, but if they do not, well my opinions are very public.

Being in a polyamory could feed voyeurisms. I am big into voyeurism, I go to the movies when I can and my collection of movies is extensive. I understand people into voyeurism can be exploited by the movie industry and it does this to us all the time. Providing interesting things to watch, so the industry is something I as a person into voyeurism loves.

I am not into sexual abuses of any kind, that is my BDSM and I want to go into that now. Explaining polyamory is a closed relationship is VERY important to me, what is also important to me is to speak on how to stop verbal abuses, again I am not one to speak right, I have to admit to being human and we all have speech issues when it comes to forming language when some terrible mean emotions come about.

Bondage Dominance Sadomasochism  is not about being into abusing.

IF YOU ARE INTO ABUSING PEOPLE YOU ARE FETISH AND NOT BDSM.

BDSM is into CONSENT. What is consent? It is permission to do what you want to a persons body by that person.

IF YOU ARE INTO NONCONSENT, there is a district attorney waiting to meet you and a judge to sentence you to a correctional facility.

ALL BDSM PEOPLE HATE NONCONSENT PEOPLE, consent is the sexual kink in BDSM. AND it is re-enforced in the teaching of BDSM. The safe word in BDSM is to stop any abuse that might be happening or perceived. And that word, as long as it is USED and respected, makes certain consent is right there at all times.

I am going to talk about my voyeurism because Ashton Kutcher did mention what Thorn does do. AND people using children to try to exploit me  and use my sexual kink need life time prison sentences.

I am BDSM, and as I wrote consent is my kink, tell me when a child is OLD ENOUGH TO CONSENT!!!!! They never will be.

I’ll watch Aston Kutcher on screen for Spread. That is voyeurism. I will not watch what Mr. Kutcher mentioned in his testimony, when he was talking about what he founded to catch and free children from sexual abuse: THORN. I refuse as a voyeur to even seek that viewing out.

Voyeurism is seeking out for sexual pleasure something to watch. I have found females very silent about their voyeurism needs, I am guessing it is because of Judeo-Christian family values that women and women’s magazines do not write about Females into voyeurism. I can get away with mine because of the industry, the movie industry. In the past women just were in orgy’s right for their voyeurism?

Anyway, I need to sum this up. People now know more about where I am coming from. I am completely into consensual sex and consensual non-abusive communication. I have not told how I got this enlightenment, just who I am… keep reading, because more women and men will communicate better before I die.